Von: The5bels@aol.com ()
  Datum: 18.06.98, 03:26:03
Betreff: Maybe a smile

When Americans do genealogy in Germany, we are constantly faced with either
learning the language or spending hours pouring over the German to English
Dictionary.  This came on another e-mail I recieved and I found myself
chuckeling by the end.
I don't think I'm the only one that will chuckle.

The European Commission has just announced an agreement that English
will be the official language of the EU- Rather than German. (the other
possibility.)

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded
that English spelling had some room for improvement, and has accepted a
five year phase in of new rules which would apply to the language and
classify it as EuroEnglish.

The agreed plan is as follows:

In year one, the soft 'c' would be replaced by 's'. Sertainly,
this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be
replaced by 'k'. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan now
have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when
the troublesome 'ph' is replaced by 'f'. This will reduse 'fotograf' by
20%.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to Reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wilagre that the
horible mes of the silent 'e's in the language is disgrasful and they
should eliminat them.

By year four, peopl wil be reseptiv to lingwistik korektions
such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v' (saving mor keyboard
spas). During ze fifz year, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords
kontaining 'ou' and similar changes vud of kors be applid to ozer
kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yearm ve vil hav a reli sensibil riten styl. Zer
vil be nomor trubls or difikultis and evrion vil find it ezi to understand
ech ozer

.....ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!!!!

I hope a little laugh wasn't too much of a waiste of time and reasources
Jim in Phoenix